Things I have confessed in church (also for dkg)

that indian dude who cries about pollution cracks me up
i don't really care for chocolate milk
i put the finger in the chili
the moon scares me
let's just say that you won't be able to get any "virgin wool" from my neighbor's sheep anymore*
i broke the mold
i invented "the wave"
i shot j.r.
i gave my grandma's poodle a mohawk
i had an impure thought about bea arthur
i plant dandelions
i stole the show
i'm ruggedly handsome
i considered cutting the tag off my pillow
i shot the deputy
back in the days of the original star trek, i rooted for the klingons

*i don't know what you may have been thinking, but the reason for this is, of course, that i sheared them for the first time a couple of nights ago. and by shearing, i mean . . . taking a clipper and clipping their wool off.